I'm disgusted by most wedding traditions. I brought up the fact that I don't want to get married because it was all formed around using women as property/slaves in a conversation with my mother and she flipped out at me. Like... I can still be in a loving, committed relationship and adopt children without the disgusting traditions and DEBT. I'm also panro, so I may not even be able to get married to my partner by the time that I would "want" to because people are trying to take my rights as a human being .-.

My ideal wedding, should it ever happen: Civil ceremony in a registry office, go to the pub with a select few close friends after. Simple.

I don’t want some fancy smanshy ring. Fuck it, give me one of them glow in the dark spider rings you get from the arcade! I’LL BE THE HAPPIEST PERSON ALIVE! Wedding? Who needs that!? Let’s just throw a get together at the park!

“Bethronal rings”? Do you mean betrothal?

My sole groomzilla moment was insisting the 20th Century Fox fanfare be played before the Star Wars theme when my fiance walked down the aisle, because THAT'S HOW THE STAR WARS THEME STARTS, DON'T LET DISNEY TELL YOU OTHERWISE.

I got married in 30 minutes in Vegas for 100$ tops. Would recommend if you're not into taking out a down payment on a house for one day

as a person that works for an e-commerce stationary company, yes there is a wedding tax. the same 5×7 card costs different between non-wedding and wedding products. 100 cards can easily differ by $100+ between the two products for essentially the same materials.

Diamonds are not special or rare, but the inventory and availability are tightly controlled.

Man I just want my cheap wedding in the back yard, cake from a nice shop, a few hundred bucks ring and a amazon wedding dress. My parents and my groom and his parents.

Dating a forest witch elimates alot of this stress. They love anykind of rock or herb. Need a setting for ceremony? A mossy patch in the woods with scattered sunlight. Easy

I quietly yearned for a nice diamond ring for decades (we were young and broke in the late 1970s when we wed, and simply couldn’t afford one). I spent over 40 years wanting one & being embarrassed to ask him for one. Finally admitted that I was stupidly torturing myself and we bought the one I had been “secretly” admiring in a second-hand shop for nine months. It’s a beautiful little third-carat diamond solitaire, and I am happy. I think he likes it, too. (If we had bought a new diamond, it would have been a lab-grown diamond. The two-months’ salary “rule” is freaking ridiculous. That’s a HUGE amount of money.)

i got married during the pandemic in 2020. my husband and i are simple people and the pandemic helped with keeping the wedding small. even though my wedding was small and cheap it was a wonderful wedding because i got to marry my best friend.

The copywriter at N.W. Ayer who coined the phrase "a diamond is forever" was named Mary Frances Gerety. She is portrayed in an excellent book called 'The Engagements' by J. Courtney Sullivan. Excellent video, thank you for your work!

As a student jeweler, semi-precious stones and minerals make for much more interesting jewelry and design than diamonds anyway. Just my opinion.

i love hearing about corporations or conglomerates scrambling bc millennials don’t buy in to their scammy propaganda 🥰🥰 it’ll probly get even worse with gen z & i love that

Marriage is for chumps.

I have a friend who worked as a florist. She said they would actually charge the same for weddings, but the down payment is a lot more. This is because you're less likely to cancel a normal party, and if you do, they lose less. But a wedding is a big order, and most of the times if it gets canceled there's no saving it. Which means you lose/now have a massive order of whatever flowers the bride ordered to get rid of.

Honestly I don't even want a ring, if i'll EVER marry I want a fire opal dagger, those thongs are real and they are P R E T T Y

Loved this! Small and savvy weddings are exactly our cup of tea– been preaching this message and method for years! 🥰

I want amethyst, not a diamond. Purple is my favorite color after all.

I don't really care too much about getting married. It seems expensive and excessive. I don't even like rings, me and my partner wear collars.

The fact that getting married without having lived together for a period of time was normal at one point is insane to me. No wonder divorce rates were high. Seems like a recipe for disaster :)

Please do a video on MLM Market America

"Don't blame yourself for having unrealistic expectations of lavish wastefulness! Blame society!"

I always find our love for stones amusing, myself included.

If people spent a tenth of the time effort and energy they spend on the wedding on the marriage itself, maybe there would be less divorces.

I never understood to concept of a "traditional wedding." Even as a little girl, I never imagined myself in a white gown with lots of guests and expensive flowers. I never imagined a big diamond. I didn't ohhh and ahh over Princess Diana's wedding the way most of my friends did. If I ever get married, it will be at the justice of the peace in my regular clothes. It, I'll elope!

What downright angers me is these strong, highly-educated (or not), self-assured, independent, employed women who are living their own lives, suddenly tossing all of that aside to become a piece of property to be officially and publicly handed from one man to another. Some man, usually Daddy, walks her down the gauntlet, er—aisle. The preacher man (usually), asks who’s GIVING her in marriage to this other guy (well, words to that effect), and the male figure says, “Her mother and I.” (Again, words like that.) The mother figure doesn’t even get a chance to speak for herself, oh, no—the man speaks FOR her. Finally, the daddy gives the female piece of property to the other man. Obviously, it’s best that I turn all wedding invitations down, for I’m not sure I could restrain myself from shouting to the bride, “WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?” 😆

I would like to shout out Lupe Fiasco for his song "Conflict Diamonds", which was responsible for all the girls at my high school hating the idea of diamonds. Bonus points for the song sampling the song 'Diamonds Are Forever'.

When my wife and I were planning our wedding in early 2020 we were worried we would have to cancel the September wedding. But we felt luck closer to the day, we saved tones of money, we did a dinner with the wedding party after the wedding, had zoom for people who wanted to come but couldn't and only about 50 people at the ceremonie. We felt great because we saved tones of money. As for the honeymoon, we went to my uncles cottage 3 hours away. It was great. I wouldn't have traded what I had, wish we could have had a few of my friends and family there but other than that, it was perfect.

I just like big parties lol any excuse to have a big party is cool with me. I love looking back on pictures and the outlandish things people got up too.

My brother and his Fiancé are being smart and instead of having an expensive wedding, they're going to have a smaller, cheaper one and use the money for renting an apartment/condo. They might even just have the ceremony in the condo's yard.

As an addition to not all the price hikes are scams thing. Wedding usually require certain things happening at certain times. Bands and DJs quote more for weddings because usually the set list is specific, they take more time to cater the music to the couple and it requires cue's more often than not. I've heard horror stories from people who were told they were playing a party, showed up to a wedding and couldn't meet the expectations or do what the couple wanted because they didn't know what kind of gig they booked.

Who else just doesn't give a care anymore? After the age of 7, I guess wasn't interested in weddings anymore. Not saying that everyone's not, but I'm just curious if anyone else feels that way. And I'm a girl, so don't say "guys just don't get it."

1:30 Not to “show ownership,” but to show she was taking for. Back then, married women were off limits to be “taking advantage of...” It was to protect women who’s husband went to war or away long periods of time. 🤓

I told my dad I wanted to propose to my boyfriend with a savings account (like present it as a future we could have) and my dad said “what kind of man doesn’t propose to his girlfriend? He’s weak” okay does that make women weak then....? Should I not hold myself to the same standard of a man??? He got quiet.

tea sis. i always imagine myself proposing to my partner, no matter who they might be. i dont think it SHOULD matter who is doing the prosing. if the couple is happy, then that's all that matters.

That "real is rare" campaign sounds SO tone deaf. Way to not understand your market.

Husbands do own wifes. That’s the entire point of getting married....

We had an AMAZING wedding for We got married on the ice at the local skating rink. For a few hundred, we got the entire rink to ourselves for a "private session". Our friend performed a quick ceremony on the ice, we had the "couple's first skate", and then all our friends were invited to join us on the ice to skate to our fav music. The best part is we didn't even have to worry about RSVPs because the place could accommodate as many people as we wanted and all the skate rentals were free. Family, friends, and coworkers could literally just "drop by" our wedding if they felt like it - and bring any friends or family they wanted! In contrast, the skating center had an *actual* wedding venue outback which they charged TENS of THOUSANDS of dollars to use and forced couples to use their awful catering service! Instead of that, we rented an upscale AirB&B condo that served as both the photography and reception locations - all "catered" with a choice buffet of Chipotle, my fav pizza, and Costco. I've known brides who married at traditional wedding venues and didn't even get to eat the lavish meals they were forced to pay for; but I got an entire "bride's pizza" set aside just for me. Bonus: once everyone left, we were already in our honeymoon suite. ^_^ I told the hair stylist I was having my hair done for a "skating event" that was being filmed (completely true). She made my hair stay beautifully and perfectly in place for 1/3 the wedding price - and I wasn't required to do multiple trips or book weeks in advance like I would have if I'd used the magic word "wedding". The majority of our budget went to my dress - it was designed by one of my best friends and "transformed" from a elegant princess-style ballgown into a graceful figure skating outfit! It was all VERY affordable and pretty amazing. =)

I get where you were going, but for next time, mabey just say history of american weddings, as weddings are something that has been going on for thousans of years. But on to the actual thing. It is insane how mutch americans use on wedding. From what I understood, like 10 000$ is seen as an expensive wedding in Norway. And around 150 guests is alot, and seen as a big wedding here. I am going to have a big wedding with the norwegian standard, and I have been thinking about 120 guests max. And all those people are the ones who are closest to me and my fiance, you know, family and close friends. When i know how many guests we have we can work out a budget. But I will probobly save where I can save, like just buying the flowers and decorate myself. And in general see what options are the most cheap. Mabey taking several trips to sweeden bying alcohol there, instead of bying in Norway. Stuff like that. but we do want a wedding, and I don't know if this is just me, or norwegians in general, but it's kind of wierd for me to expect it being the best and most important day in my life, it might not be, but it will be a good celebration of me and my hubby finally getting married after like a timeframe of 14 years together (10 now, but probobly 4 years til we can afford it). We defenetly fit in the millenial category, except for the tiny wedding. But chose a cheap-ish saphire ring in white gold instead of diamonds, and we are defenetly whaiting til we can afford it rather then loaning money, and stuff like that. And sorry for grammatical errors, English is not my native language, and I think I wright in a mix of american english and british english, which makes it even wierder.

31:53 bitch, me too.

If I ever get married, I wouldn't mind if he got me an emerald ring

I've been doing weddings for over a decade now and let me tell you, there is NOTHING worse than the parents of the bride & groom. Usually, the couple knows what they want, their budget, what to expect, but the parents are unbearable. So often it's a competitive thing between the 2 families, trying to impress their friends and family. Also, people are so incredibly cheap. I live in the #1 wedding destination in the country and you wouldn't believe some people's budgets. No, you can't do a wedding ceremony and reception for 150 people for $5,000. The prices may seem outrageous but you have to realize you're renting the venue for the evening which includes tables, chairs, linens, lighting, setup, breakdown, the bar, the menu, servers, decor, etc. A wedding is a HUGE party and you get what you pay for.

It's so weird how a wedding is seen as the woman's special day instead of the couple's special day (obviously fair if it's a lesbian wedding). With common statements like "it's her special day". No it's _their_ special day.

Let's not forget that studies have shown that the more money you spend on a marriage the more likely you are to end up in divorce

Here's a little advice from a jewelcrafter: NEVER PUT AN EMERALD ON A RING. Even though they have a hardness of 8 on the Mohs scale, they are full of inclusions. We're talking about cracks, water bubbles and a whole variety of impurities. All those form what we call a "garden". It makes emeralds beautiful but also britle. Some professionals refuse to work with emeralds because they are so easy to break. Rings are regularly exposed to trauma. Putting an emerald on a ring is like asking for it to shatter. If you want a nice green stone, try garnets. Tsavorite and demantoide garnets are beautiful and you won't regret it.

You upload like crazy, how?!

My husband and I spent around $200 for our wedding lol. All we did was go to the courthouse, sign the license and then the JOP came the next day to marry us. We chose a small park that had a cute bridge overlooking the duck pond as our spot. Afterwards, we had a small get together with some close friends. It was just intimate, and just right for the two of us. Been married for nine years and together for fourteen years. I would do it all over again.

Never understood the fuss behind all of this. When I got married, we took our parents and siblings to the government building with us, signed up the documents, and paid cheap to have them take a few pictures for the sake of the family. [Photos don't really do it for me.] No ring and a cheap red dress because that's my favorite color. Then we went to Olive Garden. My mother annoyed me to no end about my decision, constantly insisting on some unnecessarily elaborate event when we don't even really have friends or much of a social circle. She got us this big cake, just to satisfy her idea of what my wedding should be. But I would've been fine with just a cake from Walmart or something. I'll never turn down an excuse to eat cake. In any case, it was never some big monumental event for me. Why would it be? The monumental event was when he moved in, when I realized that my boyfriend from the internet was real, and he would never leave. It was the relationship itself. We got married for the legal benefits. It was all just a formality. It's all so sad how much corporations control people though. They brainwash them into being constantly unhappy, into thinking they need to pay these exorbitant prices for some manufactured fantasy. And other people follow that narrative. Because for some reason, other women really care about your wedding, really judge you for it, when it has nothing to do with them. I think my mother cared more about my wedding than me. And that's a sad thing. I can only hope that someday, people realize that it really doesn't have to be this big, stressful deal.

I never really thought about a wedding as a girl except that it's a roadblock to the day to day marriage stuff. Something you go through like taking gross medicine to make everyone else happy.

The diamond campaign was one of the worst money making rackets. They're the plainest rock you can get. The wedding industry is a fascinating subject.

YouTube knows me well lol

As someone who is obsessed with weddings, has dreamt of her wedding her whole life, and has seriously considered being a wedding planner... I completely agree with everything you said. I loved that Netflix show Cheapest Weddings. Weddings are wonderful, but blowing your life’s savings on it is not a smart move. And the industry needs to start realising that and stop encouraging young people to spend all their money.

The wedding industry clearly exploits men as well...

Thank goodness I had experience in party planning when I put my own wedding together! The planner quit the venue with no notice & it was up to me & the general manager to put it together. No problem. I already had spreadsheets, budgets, lists & a small crew of trusted friends to make sure everything went smoothly for all of us. I diy’ed all the decorations that didn’t come with the venue including silk flowers. I had a fun wedding day with few hitches including a full sit down dinner at a golf course and a gorgeous outdoor venue for the ceremony for 7k.

people: i want diamonds other people: i just want any other stone or a simple metallic band the rare few: get me that lollipop ring XD the even rarer few: tattoo on the wedding finger is more than enough... me looking at my crush: .....i want a glow in the dark ring please....

I hate when they say Bridezillas when sometimes its the vendors who are not honest, hide fees, dont do what was agreed upon, etc. Like, we wanna get what we are paying for and it isnt cheap!

I absolutely loved my wedding: 9AM in a gorgeous museum with 10 people (including the wedding party with only one maid/man of honour) and a big brunch after. I got a big white dress that love to this very day and a plain wedding ring that suits my lifestyle way more than any diamond every could. It was paid off before we ever said “I do” and our honeymoon started by noon. The best part? My marriage to the most incredible person who I love way more now than I even did then. Screw the wedding industry. They should be as unique as they people they are supposed to honour. Do your own thing!

Elaborate ($2,000) dresses that you only wear once SEEM like a waste!? SEEM!?!? 😭

CE, really?

We decided to just do our wedding at our favorite restaurant. I just want to show up and eat. Tried to organize a more traditional wedding for my parents' sake, but after it got canceled due to covid, I just didn't care anymore. Too expensive and stressful.

A lot of the jewelry stores here are closed and sold cheap af which make people not want them

LOL speak on it I planned my own wedding in 1 month and pulled it off with only 2 months later I bought everything local Pinched every penny down to the wire and crunched the numbers everyday I saved THOUSANDS! I bought my dress off AliExpress and had it made just for me. Damn near a bespoke dress that cost less than all the local shops and David’s bridal. I had a great wedding and walked away debt free and got almost all of the money spent back from gift from family and friends My husbands’ ring cost more than my dress and I’m happy he loves it to this day. Even my ring I made it clear to him I didn’t want a diamond or sapphire but a Moissanite and even now years later I get so many compliments on it. I regret nothing and I’m so happy I didn’t get caught up in the scams and predatory market of the wedding industry gimmicks

Maybe it's because I'm from a different country but in my culture it's said your engagement ring costs should be at least the half of the annual beer consumation of the soon to be groom. Nowadays this is often replaced with the gaming or car stuff.

My wife and I decided to pull the trigger and get legally married before doing an actual wedding, what with the pandemic and all. Her mom got ordained online and we did it without any flair. Now we're just planning on having a fun party once its safe, health and money wise. And being big nerds, we plan on having a fantasy-themed wedding instead of the typical fantasy wedding :p

Save your money buy a home 🏡 👑💖

If they think millenials are killing traditional industries, just wait for gen z.

Corporate caskets would be fitting name for an episode about the funeral industry 🤔

Huge diamonds are obnoxious and tacky AF. In my head.

My husband and I married in low income housing. I bought my satin dress at Forever 21 and I bought white Christmas lights for the ceiling of the lobby of our building. What was wonderful is folks chipped in! It ended up being a potluck and all our friends brought a dish and a gift and my choir was invited to sing. Everyone was very happy and we all cut loose! Sure, some people online mocked us but we simply wanted to be together and be with loved ones. This was just after Trump was elected and everyone was super gloomy and I like to think we cheered each other up.

You sound like Yara Shahidi for some reason

Diamonds - THE most boring and common of all the wedding rings.

weddings are stupid. when i go to one i could give a f*ck about the decorations, ur dress, the venue, the flowers etc. im just here for the food and booze

If you don’t get a diamond ring some people will look down on you. My partner let me pick the general style of ring/stones. Well I wanted aquamarine bc both our birthday is in March & I love blue. When he took me show me the ring he was thinking about(he wanted to make sure I loved it) and the sales person was a total jerk about my choice. She pushed for us to get a diamond and made these rude comments on my choice. At the point when I said this is what I want she look at me like I was dirt. My husband was shocked but still wanted to order the ring and get something special on it. Well what this rude lady didn’t know was we were actually going to pick out a couple pieces of the Disney line(Cause we love Disney). I was planning on getting all the Cinderella pieces beside the engagement rings and some other random piece. Well when my husband was done he came to be and ask me if we were still getting the Cinderella stuff oh did that sales lady perk up & rush me with the first smile since I said aquamarine. I told him but looking at her “no. I rather go someone where else cause I want those to have a positive first impression.” She didn’t apologise. I don’t think she got it that she was being rude. When we got in the car I ask my husband was I wrong & he told me no that the lady was rude but he really wanted me to get my ring by XMas to give it to me in front of my family. I have gotten over the sourness that lady tainted my ring with cause I love it and we have a funny story about it. I also get compliments about it a lot & a couple people have said something to the effect of “ i wish I knew I could get something other than a diamond.” That they like other stones or just like the colour or no a diamond person. You are spending your money on it get something you like.

My sister’s fiancé got her an Amethyst engagement ring over a diamond. It was because amethyst is her favorite stone. And it also happens to be his birthstone. I thought it was so cute and added extra sentiment to it.

I'm still confused by differences of marriage and civil partnership, could anyone explain in human way? xd

Hell ya! She mentioned Adam ruins everything!

I love my engagement ring and wedding band. My husband gave me a sapphire ring instead of a diamond. Because everyone has a diamond and not everyone has a sapphire. Plus sapphire is my birthstone

I am 32 never married. We’re going to the justice of the peace tomorrow. Our rings were bought at a pawnshop for $50. We are getting our new house next month instead of all the madness of a wedding. Plus I’m finishing up school. 🤷‍♀️ to each their own.

Where can I find the sources she uses? I want to read more from that pile.

Thank you for your nuanced discussion of the wedding tax! There are valid reasons for higher costs for some wedding services, while there are also things and services that do not need to cost what they do. I loved the discussion on the role expectations play on the wedding industry. Great video as always!

I’m really sick and tired of hearing “women are told” or “women are expected” blah blah blah no one cares what anyone else does and even if someone tells you to do something you don’t have you, you’re a freaking adult have some personal responsibility. (BTW I’m not straight white or male so I’ve definitely heard comments about how weird I am but I just don’t care, no one should). I’ve been a wedding planner before it’s wild to me how many adult babies are out there, typically millennials which I am btw, crying about their pampered lives and how “society’s expectations” burden them 😑. Don’t wanna invite your racist uncle to your wedding but scared because of your family’s expectations? Don’t invite him! Who cares, you don’t need him in your life anyway. Don’t wanna spend $35K on a fucking party? Then don’t! Jesus it’s not hard yall, quit blaming everyone for your inability to stand up for yourself. Tough love, but maybe someone needed to hear it. I appreciate how much depth you went into about diamonds, those really grind my gears lol I’m glad that people but particularly millennials are more conscious of the ethics of their products and diamonds are absolutely horrible ethically speaking.

Honestly, I still do want a beautiful ring when someone proposes to me, BUT the whole wedding part always seems too expensive, extreme and stressful.. I'm cool with just going to a courthouse and then having a small celebration, Lol. Love is love, not a big ego show

I'd rather use the money for a wedding as a down payment for a house where the wedding can take place!

The most expensive part of my wedding was the ring under €300 and my bouquet €50. Final total €500 ,which included our clothes and shoes. 12 years and counting.

As a professional wedding cake designer I will say that yes, some bakeries absolutely do overcharge for their cakes. My bakery tries its best to keep wedding cakes affordable for all; the basic cake starts at around $50. Unfortunately some brides usually don't take into consideration the time and materials needed to create some of those elaborate cakes.If it has a lot of piping (icing work) fondant, gum paste, or an insane design they can take DAYS to create because it usually has to all be done by hand. My bakery alone does about 70- 90 regular cakes a day and 1-3 wedding cakes which usually get done by the more experienced decorators (sometimes with a trainee). It can take that decorator either an hour from start to finish if it a simple elegant cake to 3 days depending on the design. Then you have to take into consideration if they want it delivered (gas + labor) set up, or served. We can cut costs in some areas by ordering from suppliers or having people just pick up their cakes but it's not always possible.

I cant understand how ppl spend 10s of thousands of dollars just for one day.

😉👋🏼 😉👍🏾👍🏾

True. I don’t really care for diamonds. They seem kinda boring... I love color and got an Alexandrite ring

I love your blue pill, gyno centric approach!!

My first wedding, we saved up to be able to spend a grand total of $1,000 for the whole thing. The memories were nice, but by no means epic. My second wedding we got a civil officiant, and didn't tell the baker what the cake was for. Less than $200 for the whole thing. We could have afforded a nice reception, but it just wasn't worth it for us. Our families weren't all that excited by my 2nd and his 3rd marriage. We had other priorities.

I am the only one in my family who wanted the whole she-bang wedding because I grew up with stories of my mom saying ' the judge who married us was kind enough to have the janitor turn off the vacuum in the back of the room.' That and seeing Disney's wedding endings growing up made me always want a wedding.

I think marriages happen because people were trying to mimic the temple ceremonies from Abrahamic culture

My parents each had a new piercing in one ear and got engagement earrings, my mom wore a black slip dress she got from a thrift store and a homeade flower crown, and my dad's mom made their cake. They held the ceremony standing in a circle on a grassy cliff that overlooked a beach, and the reception was a walk down along the shore and then a fire with roasted marshmallows and s'mores. I always wish I could have been there 😂

You have a beautiful voice

Thank you for covering this!! Planning my wedding was one of the most vulnerable and stressful periods of my life and no one blinked an eye at how ludicrous that was. It’s all such a disgrace for what should be a beautiful time for people starting a life together

Let's normalize buying a house first and then having a party as your reception 🥰 way more romantic

in my country, diamond engagement rings aren't a thing, because they are hella expensive. Biut I have a friend who absolutely wanted an engagement diamond ring, got it, and now it sits in a box all day because she is afraid to lose it!

just abolish marriage, read goldman

Harsh video ending right there. All through the video you made sure to not come off judgy and yet through a hard jab at people-who-like-weddings at the very end. It wasn't needed. Not all people who like wedding parties do it to appease others. Materialistic people do but that isn't everyone. Don't brush all brides the same way. Many do weddings because they like parties in general. Many do it to BE WITH family/friends because they LOVE their families/friends and don't see others as people they just don't care about. Why bash people who want to make happy memories. People age and some people pass away so a wedding serves as a special place to remember others and not just the bride/groom. There's more to it in the end.